They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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