You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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