Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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