I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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