It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
