Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
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Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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