this beer tastes like vomit already
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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