So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
