your thong is hanging out like whoa
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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