Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I want a musical about memes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
