Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
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Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
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he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize