That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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