I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I had to cum in my sink.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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