Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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