I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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