I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
