The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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