Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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