i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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