If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
