When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
