my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
