i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
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