Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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