i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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