Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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