I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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