I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
