i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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