Got a toothbrush?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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