apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize