he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize