1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize