ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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