fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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