she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I could fuck to npr.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
