every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
