carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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