I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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