they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
