Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
