I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
