let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
