Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
