Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
