So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
