hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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