i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
