shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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