We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
