Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
