i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
someone owes me an orgasm
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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