in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
