I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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