grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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