"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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