4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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