I'm going to jail i love you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
