The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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