I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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