I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
